Sunday, September 23, 2012

Baby Weight Part 2

First off if you haven't read the first baby weight post you may want to read it here.

Anyway, the past few days have been really good. I feel much more "free" after posting my progress pictures it almost made me puke at first but I made it through and damn is it good motivation!

The hubs and I were driving to find a place for lunch the other day and while we were trying to figure out somewhere that would have healthier choices for me he said he was really proud of me. I brought up the fact that I was nervous to get pregnant again because of the weight gain but then insisted that I would never gain that much weight again (50-60 lbs!) Of course his usual smart ass self (I love it) said " really pulled a JESSICA SIMPSON last time!" It seriously cracked me up and made me think. So folks I am DEFINITELY not pulling a Jessica Simpson again!

My first baby weight post explained my pregnancy weight gain. But why has it taken my so long to do something about it? My son is almost 2 and I only started 8 weeks ago. BUT what I haven't explained is that YES I have tried SO many things since I had my son. I just don't think I was in the right frame of mind to do anything about it.

The week after having my son I stepped on the scale. I was SO nervous. You may not believe this but I had lost 27 lbs in one week. Of course that includes a 9 lb 8 oz baby and everything else that comes out with him (gross). But I was SHOCKED. I also thought sweet this won't be so bad. All I gotta do is breast feed and I'm golden.  Yep...well as you can see that didn't work out.

My mom and mother in law were with me for the two weeks after having Hunter and were HUGE helps. Things were going great. After they left though I felt so alone. I was home. All. day. long. Don't get me wrong I had a beautiful baby but I didn't exactly have the mom thing down. He was really fussy for me because I was STRESSED out. When my husband would get home I would be in tears sometimes because I felt like I wasn't meant to be a mom. I was exhausted. I was jealous that Ian (the hubs) could take him and swaddle him right up, feed him and cuddle him and put him to sleep MUCH better than I could. He was such a naturally amazing father why wasn't I like that? He gave Hunter a bath every night for the first month. I was too scared too.

When Hunter was almost a month old I knew something was wrong. I was so excited to be a Mom. But now here I was crying half the time and stressing ALL the time. I called my doctor. He suggested I see a counselor for Post Par tum Depression and prescribed me some medication. I went to three sessions with the counselor and didn't like her. But I had been on the medicine a few weeks by then and was doing much better. I had started giving Hunter baths and was much more calm. I was able to put him to bed just as well as his Daddy and it felt so good. I still felt bored and alone sometimes but I had my sweet baby boy to cuddle with all day. He was hardly fussy because I wasn't stressed all the time. Now I'm not saying medication will help with everything. You have to actually have a chemical imbalance for it to work. I definitely did. I failed to tell my doctor that I had been on anti depressants before I got pregnant. Apparently, that gives you WAY more of a chance of having Post Par tum depression. If he would have known that he would have put me on a low dose right after having the baby.

While all of this was going on I was doing light work outs and hardly eating. My body held onto all the rest of the  baby weight I had gained. When my son was 4 months old I went to a "weight loss medical spa" and was put on Phentermine (a prescription diet pill) and lost about 20 pounds. That was the dumbest thing I ever did. This pill made you not hungry. I rarely ate and worked out a lot. So yeah I lost weight, but once I went off the meds (the doctor would only let you be on them for 3 months) I was screwed. I gained it all back. It was unhealthy and not the right way to lose weight.

After that I tried numerous "get fit quick" schemes. I'm not even going to go through them. None of them worked. I couldn't stay on them. It was too hard, and not much of a lifestyle. Whether it was a fast, a shake system or no carbs it just wasn't right for me. After a few days on each one I would give up.

So after that I just let myself go. I stopped working out and pretty much ate whatever I wanted...which was lots of sugary treats. It was unhealthy and affecting me and my family in a negative way.

Well I think this is going to have to have a part 3. I feel like I have rambled on and on. I'm pretty sure this is like a cheap therapy sesh for me.

After this sombering tale I will end with some shits and giggles:

blame this on the raisin cookies! 


  1. Annie... I am so poud of you. I think you're right about many things, specifically not being the in the right state of mind.

    I remember that I really had to hit rock bottom after delivering Haven. This post hit home because he was 9 lbs 9oz... {no drugs!!}. But it wasn't until I hit rock bottom, that something clicked.

    You should be proud of yourself because you are on the right track this time. This time is different. And this time you will get to your goal weight! :)

    1. Holly
      First off, Thank you so much your comments always make me feel a lot better...especially after posts like this. Secondly, you are a rock star for delivering Haven with no drugs especially as a big baby theres no way I could have done that. :)
      Lastly, I know your right about being on the right track! It is just so hard sometimes, but I know its going to work out! :)