Sunday, July 19, 2015

Meet Cait

Hey there!
I'm Caitlin (Cait,) Annie's newest blogging partner in-crime! I'm so excited that she brought me on to the blog - we're going to have a lot of fun!
Annie and I have know each other for around 4 years - through births, deaths, triumphs, and tragedy, you get to have quite the bond with someone. She and I have a few things in common - we share the same sister-in-law, we both are married with two children (she has two boys; I have two girls,) we both share the same faith, and we both are going through a hard time in our lives right now.

As you know (or if you're just joining us, and you don't,) Annie has Hodgkin's Lymphoma, which is a type of cancer, that she is battling right now. Her fight to recovery hasn't been easy, and it's not over yet, but she is determined to kick cancers butt!
As for me, my youngest daughter, Scarlett (age 2,) is disabled and has special needs. To give you the shorter version, Scarlett is completely blind, has cerebral palsy, has a type of dwarfism, is tube-fed, and deals with hypopituitarism, adrenal insufficiency, and hypothyroidism. And that's just the tip of the iceberg! I'll delve into more detail in another post, but as you can see, I, like Annie, have been given a challenging part of life, and although these things cannot be changed about Scarlett, I'm determined to give her the best life possible.

Photo by Cherish Me Studios

While I'm here, I'll also be blogging about beauty - makeup tutorials, hair tips and tricks, and sometimes, pageants. I also might throw in the occasional healthy (or not-so-healthy) recipe, or workout post along with Annie (another thing we have in common - we both would like to be a bit lighter and healthier!)

So there you have it! If you'd like to learn more about me and my quirks, feel free to check out our new and improved "About Us" section.
I'm so excited to meet you all!

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Dear Cancer, Go F**ck Yourself

I want to apologize in advance for the sailor mouth nature of this post...I have been waiting to publish this  because I was unsure about that part. But I want to be as real and as raw as possible so I'm going for it!

Dear Cancer,

When I first was diagnosed I got a key chain from a good friend that had the following on it...

All of that is absolutely true...but what Cancer CAN do is go f**ck itself. (I'm sorry about the language but stay with me here).

Cancer, you've tried your hardest to take away all that you've could from me but your operation is weak. I should have been done with treatment by now but you've had other "plans." What is with this not going away bull shit? You think you're a bad ass because you were resistant to my first go around at chemo? Not so fast, your are shrinking down to nothing inside of me and I don't have any room for you to come back. Not only that, but by making my life more difficult you are only egging me on. You see, every little thing that doesn't go right only makes me that much STRONGER. Now, I'm pulling out the big guns. You're taking me away from my babies for FIVE WEEKS. While that hurts me more than anyone can imagine you are not the winner of this fight, I AM. You'll see I will come out of this even stronger than I ever was. You are teaching me my greatest life lesson. Every day I am learning more and more about not taking any single moment for granted. About being the best Mom and Wife I ever could be, instead of letting you take over my life. Cancer, I am not a slave to you and never will be. Yes, the rest of this year will be hard but you know what...I can take it! You've taught me that I'm pretty much a bad ass and you are not as powerful as you think you are. 

Yes, the rest of my life I will be monitored and scanned more than the average person, but you know what? Good! I will know whats going on and will be able to count the years of remission and to remember how strong I am. You have brought me close with others who have fought or are fighting this battle, each one teaching me something new. We all have a common bond of being bad asses for life. You're time in me is short lived, Cancer. All I have left to say is good riddance. 

Yours Truly,

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Sunday, July 5, 2015


First off notice anything different??? One of my best friends and I have decided to blog together because two is so much better than one right?? Introducing, Cait who is awesome and I know she will add great content to the blog. I really wanted to bring her in because she too is facing challenges and everyday overcomes them with positivity and grace and that's what I want this blog of ours to be about (plus she is AMAZING at make up so watch for great tutorials). But seriously, she has inspired me so much during my trials and I know she will do the same for all of you. We will have a longer post with more info soon once our blog design is finished!

Five months. Five months is how long it took me to finally reach the acceptance phase in this whole f'd up process. It took my diagnosis completely changing from Good to ehh not so good to be at peace with this situation. As of now I've had two of the harsher chemotherapy's and let me tell you YES they have been harder but NO they aren't bringing me down. What sucks is being in the hospital for 2 days during it. It is so boring. I better get used to it because I'll be in the hospital for 3 weeks during my bone marrow transplant. I'm also noticeably more fatigued after and the nausea breaks through a little more, but its all manageable. I have a lot of help with my kids so I am able to rest up and recover. Tomorrow (Monday) begins my "good week" so I'll be on my own with the kids and be able to just do normal fun summer stuff with them before my next dose! 

This coming Thursday (July 9) is a big big day for me. I have a PET scan to see how the Cancer is responding to this new chemo. I hope and pray to have a CR (complete response), but am expecting the worst so I won't be to let down if that's not the case. If it's not responding at all then we will have to find a different chemo that it will respond too. But the odds are pretty decent, there is about a 70% chance that it WILL respond to my current chemo.  If it is a PR (partial response) I will have two more doses of this chemo and then another scan to make sure it's gone before the transplant. If its a CR than I will just have one more dose of this chemo before transplant. 

Lastly, I'm scheduled to start the harvesting process on July 22nd after my third round of ICE. I'm nervous for all the transplant stuff because it is so much STUFF. Some days I just have to be content with knowing how up in the air things are going to be during/after but its so hard for a control freak like me. Plus I'm going to miss my kids like crazy. 

Anyway, hope this little update was informative! Keep watching for more info on all the new stuff! I hope y'all like it. Also new web address is: :)