Friday, September 7, 2012

An "unloved" Mama

So this post is a little random, but I just had to write about my experience, and wonder if all Mom's go through this? My son is 20 months. He is starting to talk more and more every day. It is insane. He is putting together little three word sentences and I. love. it.

What I don't love? When he says he loves Daddy and not me :(
My boys and their bottles. Hunter was only a few weeks old. They've always had a close bond. 

Anyway, last night we were all playing in the living room after dinner. You know the usual laughing, wrestling and tickle fests that go on nightly in our house.
 We started relaxing and Ian asks Hunter "Hey, Hunter do you love Papa?" (Hunter calls him Papa instead of Daddy) 
Hunter responds: "Day!" in a super cheerful voice (Day means yes in Hunter language, I don't know why. What I think he got it from is that I say "K" a lot and it rhymes.)
I say: "awwwwww...Hunter, Do you love Mommy?"
Hunter responds: "No! Love Papa!" 
Ian: Laughs and says "well I guess we know who his favorite is!"
I ask him a few more times and he either ignores me or says No. My heart longed to hear him say "Day!" 
I felt so hurt. Now I know he is little, he doesn't understand and he really does love me. But I just want to HEAR it!
It isn't fair. I'm with him all the time. Taking care of him, feeding him, playing with him. We are best buds. He grew inside me for 9 months, I went through a hell of a labor due to his LARGE size. And he doesn't love me?
ughhhhhh. Why are Papa's or Daddy's so cool? Is it because I get to take Hunter to work with me and he only sees Ian in the morning and at night  and on weekends? That has got to be it. I guess I need to get a job where I can't take him....just kidding. 
Well Ian was putting him to bed after his bath last night and asked him: "Hunter do you love Mommy?"
Hunter replies: "mmmmmmmm....Day..."

Now Ian said it wasn't as excited as his but it was a yes DAY! :) My life is not over anymore! My son loves me!

I'm sure all of us Mama's feel unloved one time or another by our little (or big) children. I know I have treated my Mom poorly in the past and I feel bad about it after this. I know he does love me and this is probably a stage he is going through. 

Have any of you gone through this? (Please help a mama feel better about herself!)

I will always love my little man. (Picture taken Nov. 2011)

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