Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Here We Go...

So last week I completed my fourth and LAST round of ICE chemo. I am so glad to be done with that part! Even though I'm done I am still feeling so tired and beat down, more than normal. But my doctor said I have had more chemo than the average person so that is to be expected. Yesterday, I found out that I will be admitted to the Huntsman Cancer Hospital on August 28th to begin my stem cell transplant. Everything (testing doctors visits etc) will start on the 24th of that week. At first I cried because I only have two weeks left with my boys before everything goes down. They're my world and I'm going to miss seeing them every day. But then after talking with my Mom I was relieved because its finally going to happen; the first day of the rest of my Cancer free life is coming soon. 

Now don't get me wrong I'm still terrified for the whole "transplant" and what I'm going to endure during my hospital stay. In fact, writing this is bringing up a whole slew of emotions that I don't want to deal with. I want to just pinch myself and wake up from this nightmare, but unfortunately that's not possible so I just need to deal with it. I've been enjoying being with my two little monsters and trying just to be as normal as possible. When I feel myself getting upset or impatient with them I hold myself back because I know soon I will be missing them so badly.

So here in 11 days I will be headed back down to Salt Lake for just a bunch of annoying testing and physicals to double check that my body can handle a transplant. We will be back and forth from home that week and then the 28th will be my first official day in the hospital. On that day they will start the chemo called "BEAM" that takes 6 days to administer and will literally kill all of my bone marrow/stem cells and any remaining cancer cells left in me. Since it kills all of my bone marrow/Stem Cells they have to go in and rescue my system by "putting back" the stem cells that I had collected a few weeks ago. When they do that the stem cells find their way back into my bone marrow and then my body will start making new cells again but I will have literally NO immune system for a little while so I will have to stay in the hospital until my immune system starts building back up. I'm not looking forward to being in a hospital for 3 weeks, but I'm hoping it will go by fast. Afterwards, we have to stay in the area around the hospital for 2 weeks so Ian and I will be at a hotel nearby the hospital. I won't really be able to go anywhere so that should be fun...not. After all of this, I've decided I will stay with my Mom and family for a couple months so I have family around to help with the boys since Ian will definitely need to get back to work. I will come home on the weekends or Ian will come to us in Pocatello so we can still be together as much as possible as a family. I have no idea when I'll start radiation after but I'm just going to take this one step at a time by getting through the transplant first and then going from there.

Well thats pretty much all the updates I have for now, I'm hoping to be able to write posts while in the hospital but who knows how I'll be feeling! Again, I want to thank all my family and friends for all of the support I get every day. I couldn't do this without you.

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