Confessions of An Over Eater

Since I'm going to be sharing my weight loss journey with y'all I thought I better write about the reason why I became over weight in the first place. Getting down to the nitty gritty here as much as I don't want to I feel like its an important part of my story.

Food is my comfort. When I feel bad I want to eat. When I'm done eating I feel worse, so I would eat some more then feel even more bad. It's a vicious cycle. I've wrote before my favorite thing to eat was sugar. I loved all forms of it, and having two kids around the house who wanted sugary snacks didn't help with trying to keep it out of the house.  I knew I was an addict when I would find myself hiding my stashes of goodies. I would hide them in my car, nightstand, closet shelves behind things. Then when I would want to consume them I would hide that too. One day my hubby came into our room one evening and found me in the corner eating one of my kids chocolate bunnies from Easter last year. I looked like a deer in headlights when he found me. I was ashamed. At that point I wasn't ready to quit though, I was going through my Cancer treatments and "needed" my food for emotional support. So I kept eating sugar and gaining weight throughout my treatment. Of course the steroids I was on didn't help, but I could have controlled my eating better. However, I can't go back and change the past so I have to just move on.

Flash forward to November of 2015. One of my best friends was having success with a nutrition program and losing the last of her 100 lbs to lose! She looked amazing and she felt even better. I was just coming out of my transplant and wanted desperately to have her success. I followed her journey and that was the inspiration I needed to get started. So December 28th, 2015 I made that commitment to myself and began. It was hard but I was successful in it. I followed my meal plan to a tee and lost almost 6 lbs the first week. I've been continuously losing since then and feel great! My energy levels are up and I'm wearing my smaller clothes again. My weightloss goal is 59 lbs and I've lost 34 of it so I will be documenting the last 25 lbs! I am working out as well 5 days a week and weight lift 4 of those days. I have to confess yesterday I had a slip up and ate some frozen yogurt. I am so mad at myself for "relapsing," but am back on the wagon again. I weighed myself this morning and the scale was up 3 lbs (water retention from my sugar laden cheat) so we will see tomorrow (Monday), what the scale says after a day back on plan. I will post every Wednesday my current weight and how much I've lost for the week as well. Good ol' Weigh in Wednesday!

What's Going On?!

Whew...it's been quite a while since I've done an update so here we go!  I had a scan back in February and it showed all my spots where I had Cancer previously gone but a new lymphnode lighting up under my right arm pit where it had never been before! I was devastated to say the least. They scheduled me for a biopsy to remove the lymphnode right away and I was preparing for the worst to hear the dreaded words "It's back." Thank the Lord though that wasn't what I heard...the lymphnode was benign! I am officially in remission. However, since my type of lymphoma is so aggressive I will be getting scanned every 3 months for the next 5 years. I am also receiving an immunotherapy drug called brentuximab that specifically targets Hodgkin's lymphoma cells and not normal cells so if their are any cancer cells left in me they will be obliterated. I get that infusion every 3 weeks until this coming December. Happily, my hair is growing back and guess what? It's curly now! I never had curly hair before so I'm sporting a bit of an afro but I am just grateful to have hair! The hubby and I are taking a trip to Puerto Vallarta just us to celebrate remission!

My curly hair!

Momming has not been easy lately. Little Jack has been giving me a run for my money. He is extremely moody and doesn't want to sleep. Typical two year old problems! We're also potty training so that's been fun. He is pretty good with "number one" but going "number two" usually at nap time when he is in a pull up. I just have to keep telling myself that we will get there. He starts pre school in September and needs to be potty trained by then so we got time. Hunter starts Kindergarten in September and will be doing all day kindergarten so I'm sure that will be an adjustment. We decided to go the all day route because he needs the extra stimulation and enrichment classes he will get. He is too smart for his own good sometimes so this should help with his boredom!

Last but not least is my weight loss situation. Before I was diagnosed I was in the middle of a weight loss journey losing 30 lbs and feeling great! After being diagnosed and starting treatment my over eating and emotional eating got out of control and I gained it all back plus some. I have a serious sugar addiction and couldn't control it. Even though I knew that Cancer loves and feeds on sugar I couldn't get off of it. Cakes, cookies, candy you name it I would eat it and not care until after when I felt bloated and sick to my stomach. I had to make a change.... a big one. So this New Year I dialed in my nutrition, cut out sugar and have lost 34 pounds in a couple of months. I have 25 more to go until I'm at goal but until then I will be updating my progress on here including before and during pics.

Well this is what has been going on lately... I plan on keeping up with the blog more because I do love the outlet it creates for me. So look for another post SOON detailing my weight loss and what exactly I'm doing that's working for me!

xoxo,

Annie

Whats Going On Now...

Hi All! Man its been a LONG time since I wrote anything. First off my lap top decided to break up with me and I hate typing posts on my iPad. So now that I have a new lap top I can write again! Also ((honestly)) I am really tired and blogging didn't sound appealing the past two months.

On September 15th I left the hospital after being their for almost 3 weeks. I handled the transplant well and got out a bit earlier than expected. Now, even though I handled it well it does not mean it was easy. It was HARD! The hardest part of course was being away from my boys and home. That mentally drained me...I was down and depressed the whole time. Then their were the physical side effects which were not pretty or fun at all. I won't go into detail about those. When I got out of the hospital I had to be extremely careful and stay in Salt Lake City for a couple more weeks to be close to the hospital. Just a few days before I was supposed to return home I got sick and had a fever and had to get admitted again. It was awful. BUT It only put my going home off by a day so it wasn't too bad in the end.

Saturday, October 3rd was an amazing day! I got to go home FINALLY. I hadn't seen my boys since August 24th. I got home and they looked SO BIG. They had grown so much while I was gone. Hugging and kissing them was the best feeling in the world. Even though, I was allowed to go home I was still pretty weak I slept (and still do) a lot. I felt nauseas and just run down. I'm on day 66 since transplant and still feel tired and ill sometimes. The docs say by day 100 I'll be doing a lot better and by a year out I will feel normal again. This has been hard to get used too. I hate not feeling like my normal self and being so out of shape. However, I need to look at the positives and that is I'm ALIVE and get to be with my babies. I'm staying with my Mom and she helps me SO much with the kids, I don't know what I would do without her. I literally go to bed at 7 pm some nights because I'm so run down.

What's Coming up Next:

- Currently I'm going through Radiation to the following: Neck, Armpit, Chest (Around my heart) and part of my lungs. Yes, that is ALOT of places but I chose the most agressive route possible. Radiation kills all the cancer cells that can't be seen on a scan. So if I did  have any left in me this is getting rid of those. One million cancer cells can fit on the tip of a pen and can't be seen in a scan (scary right?) Radiation is an insurance policy to help avoid a relapse. I only have to do 12 sessions and have 4 left! So far no side effects besides just being tired.

-Nope, I'm not done after radiation. Since my type of Hodgkins was so resistant and aggressive I am going to be taking a new drug called Brentuximab that specifically targets Hodgkins cells. I will take it through an IV drip every 3 weeks for a year. It's technically a type of chemo but with minimal side effects compared to standard chemo. My hair SHOULD continue to grow back during this time. This is my second insurance policy to make sure my disease is GONE and stays that way. I will start this after we move to Boise sometime end of November.

My plan from now on is living life as normally as possible. We are moving to Boise November 15th and I'm really excited to be in a new place, but will miss the friends I've made in the Burley/Rupert area tremendously. I know I will still see them though! It's not THAT far. I'm really looking forward to a new healthy year and to say good bye to 2015 since it was hell for me.

Here's to a New Year coming!!