Hurry up and WAIT

A lot of friends have been wondering why I'm getting another biopsy on my neck this time. I'll go back and update on everything that has happened the past few weeks. It's honestly almost been *too* much for me. Notice how I said ALMOST. I've pushed through and am stronger every day even when life is not going in the best way possible.

Anyway, a couple weeks ago I had my re staging PET Scan to see how well the chemo has been destroying the Cancer.

• The Good News: It is almost gone in my chest and lungs and completely gone in my arm pit.
• Not So Good News: Some lymph nodes in my neck are still "lighting up" the same amount as in my first scan. We need to find out why they are still so bright. I found out that Cancer is not the only thing that lights up in these scans. It's actually any form of "energy." So they could be lighting up still due to infection or a variety of other reasons. This is *most likely* the case. So they need to remove a few of the "hot" lymph nodes in my neck. I thought this would be a simple little surgery but it turns out since the lymph nodes are NOT swollen they need to first have me do a CAT Scan right before surgery. During the CAT scan they will place needle markers in the "hot" lymph nodes to point out which ones to remove. These needles will stick out of my neck (I will try and get a selfie) until I get them removed during surgery (I'm thinking Ill look like Frankenstein!) Within a couple days after that I will find out whether they are positive or negative for lymphoma (or heaven forbid a different type of Cancer). If they are negative then I will just continue on my treatment plan. If they are positive then I will have to see a lymphoma specialist and do a different treatment (most likely a harder chemo regimen). Please pray it is negative. If anything counts I'm feeling really good about this and my instincts tell me its going to be negative. My surgery is Wednesday June 10th so hopefully we will know about that Friday. I'm continuing with my normal chemo *tomorrow* and then the day after surgery. I only have three more after this one as long as everything goes as hoped!

  

  As you can see it does look WAY better. It's hard to see the hot spots in my neck in this picture.

Like I wrote above even with this curve ball I am feeling good. Whatever happens it will work out. My oncologist even told me he has a gut feeling its all going to be ok, and that no matter what the outcome of the biopsy we will beat this! Right now its just a "hurry up and wait" situation. I'm getting kind of used to that! I know God has a plan and he knows all so I'm trusting him, and honestly that makes me feel AMAZING. I'm in perfect hands. 

Just Wait ({Day 106})

I'm sitting here in front of my computer not even sure what to write about. The little dude is napping and my big guy and the hubs are out camping. The house is so quiet so I'd thought I'd try and get in a blog post since lately it has been super low on my to do list. Which has turned into my "some f'n day i'll get this done list" because most of it really doesn't matter anyway. With my life in "stand by mode" I've identified what is important and pretty much stick with that. My family and friends keep me sane. I don't know what I would do without them. My online friends are incredible sending me cards and gifts to cheer me up as if they know the exact time I need them. (Word for the pregnant mamas: Join an online birth month group through the bump or something. The friends I've made through that are AMAZING). My friends I've made that are going through this same journey are life savers too. They help me feel not alone in all of this. On my off weeks I do get back into fitness mode and try and fit in a workout and prep my meals for the week. It's nice and it feels normal. I hate my chemo weeks. It's so depressing just laying in bed being tired. But I try and make the most of it by watching Lifetime Movies and The Vampire Diaries. And it's not only the laying in bed that gets to me its the gross taste I have in my mouth all week, the steroids that make me super hungry and my heart beat out of my chest and the plethora of nausea pills that I have to take at certain times every day. But then day 5 comes around and I start to feel better. I get my energy back and all is right with the world again. I still get weird aches or bouts of tiredness but its really not too bad. And then I think "it could be WAY worse, Annie so stop complaining." So I'll stop. :) EVEN though I'm counting down the days until chemo is over...79 days to be exact!

they love taking selfies

yep..got a new wig :)

I'm glad I'll be finishing chemo on July 6th while there is still some summer left! Yes, I will have radiation but that is only a few weeks and will hopefully start it pretty shortly after chemo so for the latter part of August and September I can enjoy the warmth and just be with my kiddos. I also want to get back on a normal schedule and get my old body back. The steroids have not done me well and I hate it. My clothes don't fit right and I threw out all of my clothes from before I lost weight so I just wear leggings and baggy clothes. thankfully shorts with elastic waists are in style this summer ;) I gotta laugh just writing that! I can't wait to be posting about weight loss again and not cancer!

my new motto.

I have been making some pretty yummy recipes lately so I need to get those together and share them! The hubby has really been enjoying it and most of them are healthy!

Also, one last huge thing is that their are going to be **BIG** changes to this blog coming soon! Super exciting changes that I can't even post about yet. I can't wait to let you all know!!

({Healthy}) Spicy Asian Chicken Meatballs

Since my taste buds are all out of whack from my treatments I have been really craving and enjoying spicy foods! I buy jars of jalapenos just to put them on pretty much everything! :)

Here is a recipe I whipped up for my weekly meal prep. I will probably count 2 to 3 of these as a serving and serve them with either spaghetti squash or quinoa this week. 

Ingredients:

• 1 lb ground chicken (or turkey)
• 1 egg
• 1/2 cup oats
• 3 tblsp low sodium soy sauce
• 3 tblsp Taste of Thai Sweet Chilli Sauce (or you could use honey)
• 2 tsp sesame seeds
• 2 tsp ground ginger
• 2 tsp garlic powder
• 2 tsp onion powder (or you could chop up onion)
• 3tblsp apple cider vinegar or white vinegar

Directions:

Preheat oven to 375. Combine all ingredients. There is really no particular order at all. I used my hands to do it yes its gross but it gets it mixed well! Then cover a baking sheet with foil and spray with a non stick spray. Form meat mixture into balls and arrange onto sheet. Bake for about 35 minutes. 

These were seriously so so easy to whip up! And I've already eaten two as a snack! They are full of protein and a great part of any meal plan.

Hope you enjoy these as much as I did!